A scientific grading of Dallas Mavericks game start times

The author passionately analyzes Dallas Mavericks game start times based solely on personal viewing experience, using Central Time Zone as the reference point. They argue this time zone is ideal, citing Conan O'Brien's Central Time New Year's Eve show as proof.

The author assigns grades to various start times:

* **Noon:** Considered ridiculous and unacceptable. The author questions if players are even awake and suggests legislation against it.

* **2:00 p.m.:** Rated highly. It allows time for errands and lunch, potentially enables a nap if the game is boring, and frees up the evening for family or other activities. The author feels they deserve this start time occasionally.

* **7:30 p.m.:** Criticized harshly as an "ungodly hour." The author speculates the late start caters to Dallas traffic or late-arriving socialites ("North Texas Beautiful People"). Combined with the actual tip-off closer to 7:45 p.m., the games run too late for someone needing to work the next day.

* **6:00 p.m. (Weekdays):** Hailed as "The Lord's Start Time" and nearly perfect. It allows watching after work, ending before 9 p.m., leaving time for a TV show and a good night's sleep. However, the Mavericks rarely get this slot unless playing in the East or on early national TV.

* **8:30 p.m. (West Coast Games):** Can be pleasant when the next day allows sleeping in. Falling asleep during the game is deemed acceptable (similar to the 2 p.m. scenario), and sometimes the excitement keeps the viewer awake.

* **9:00 p.m.:** Vehemently condemned as evil. The author argues viewers are tired before it starts, have to wait around, get hungry again, and must stay up far too late. They demand these starts be banned.